Second thoughts about school

Sophia has really been struggling this year with school. It really is amazing what a difference a teacher can make.

Last year her teacher was the first to actually take her Autism seriously, as he has relatives who are Autistic as well. Most teachers so far, just expect her to fit in and don’t check in with her to see how she is doing. She thrived last year.

She is bored at school. She has learned a lot of what they are just starting to learn in her class so she gets bored and then disconnects. She also has to take Woodworking every Wednesday which she hates and is extremely afraid she will cut off her finger.

Combine her fear with her sensitive hearing, and the fact that her anxiety about the class kicks in as soon as she wakes up, and her nervous system gets overwhelmed before she even goes there. She even spends some Tuesday nights awake, unable to sleep due to stressing about the next day.

She has been home a lot this year, for a few reasons. There have been some really terrible viruses going around this year and we seem to get every one!

She has been struggling with her menses as she has a heavy flow and there is no allowances made with regard to PE while she is dealing with that, and any woman who has worn pads can tell you, running or playing sports while bleeding heavy makes a real mess and you get worse cramping.

They worship sports and physical activity here and I just don’t get it. It seems like there is a running or biking competition every couple weeks and of course it is mandatory that you participate.

This angers me, because it strips our children’s right to consent about what happens with their bodies. This is a huge issue and not only for girl’s but also, the boys. They see and perpetuate that you can force people to do what they don’t want to do just by pressuring them and telling them they have to. Also, it takes away the child’s ability to be sensitive to what their bodies are telling them. It interferes with their Autonomy and individuality, which is sadly, what schools were originally designed to do. This all needs to change.

Another issue for her, is that she keeps getting sick, some off it is anxiety, which has always manifested as stomach issues for her.  Also, she is environmentally sensitive, so she feels seismic, barometric and electromagnetic variances, so any changes in those areas and she is affected physically and emotionally. She gets that from me, I have the same thing. This has been steadily increasing the past couple years.

Her psychic and empathic abilities are also harder to ignore at this age, so she feels other people and knows things about them. It can be confusing when someone’s words don’t match the energy they are sending out. This is such a tricky age with Extra-Sensory development (now called Sensory Processing Disorder.)

She has had some of her tics coming back which indicates stress. Her appetite has been all over the place and so have her moods. The rage that comes form her is quite overwhelming at times, and I know she needs help channeling that again.

I work with her of course, but catching it in the moment is crucial to helping her recognise the subtle changes before they get to that point.

This illness, anxiety and stress… is all from school. I am seriously considering taking her out and homeschooling her again.

I know she will have great opportunities for learning, and make friends within the homeschooling community. They have an amazing Network here locally and do some really great activities.

Her class is taking a trip to Wellington next week and she can’t go. Brent asked to be one of the parents, but he wasn’t chosen, so she won’t go. I know this is the best decision for her, but it still sucks that she missed out on the opportunity.

We sat down with her and explained the trip and what they would be doing. Just the thought of it made her anxious so we decided as a family we would keep her home due to health reasons.

I can’t have her so far away in that environment without one of us there if she needs help. If she had a full blown meltdown, they wouldn’t know how to handle her. Also, her classmates may not treat her the same once they witnessed a full meltdown and we can’t allow that to happen.

We will take her on a trip down there as a family and see some if the places she missed. She has been to some of it already, when we took our family holiday last year. Thanks to IHC and their Take A Trip Getaway package they so generously awarded us. You can read more about Day 1 here and day 2 here.

Brent and I will talk with her again and go over what her options are. If she is going to keep missing school, I would prefer that she is homeschooled. Right now, she is in a state of confusion and the anxiety and stress are affecting her physically and that is not good.

At least if she homeschooled, I know she is still meeting (and exceeding) her education requirements and can join in their activities and make some friends within the group. She gets along with everyone at school, but yet has no one she is really connecting with.

We will see what happens, but for now, she is in bed, and will stay home again with a slight fever. She has a head cold and a sore throat. She has also been very angry, sleepy and withdrawn for the past few days and her tics have increased. I know she wouldn’t be ok in her classroom in this shape.

We are having a lot of seismic unrest, and that always affects her, and myself. I think we will have a good quake soon to release some of the pressure. Hopefully it will be out to sea and not affect anyone directly, but I also know that God always has a plan.

Now to make a plan with my girl and see how she feels about trying to homeschool again, or even do Te Kura (homeschooling with a Teacher that visits once per week).

Finnic for Ace

Art by 8yellowcats for +Ace (The Parademic)

On a lighter note, you can check out some of her latest works of art here, and some of her older work. This is how she copes, doing art. She is really pushing her boundaries and trying new things and I love watching her artwork blossom. She is so talented and I would love to get her into some art classes. Maybe we can take them together. 😀

This post was read and approved by Sophia. 😉 Thanks for stopping by and have a great day. Feel free to leave a comment.




Trialing School Day 1

Sophia is off to school today for a 20 day trial with the expectation to have her enrolled if all goes well.

This was her idea, she has been talking about it for a month, but last week she said she was ready for me to make an appointment so we did.

This past week we have been meeting with the new (to us) Principal and the Teacher of her school to set it all up.

She got the news on Friday that she would be going back, so she had time to process over the weekend. She was very excited that she was going to start today.

She has been practicing getting up with her alarm for the past couple weeks, and getting herself ready so that she would be all good to go this morning.

She showered last night so she would have less to this morning. She got up on her own to her alarm, got dressed, ate breakfast and did her hygiene routine before getting her bag ready and helping me pack her lunch.

Her Teacher is the same one who taught our son Max in year 6. He also worked with Sophia when she was there before so she is also familiar with him. He has also known Brent since they were in school together.

He is a lovely man who has extensive first hand ASD knowledge as a co-carer for his adult autistic brother-in-law.

This Teacher and the new Principal are why we decided to trial her this year when Sophia asked if she could go back to school. She knows she is ready and we are pretty confident that she is right.

We had excellent meetings and discussed her diagnosis and all of her possible triggers and preferences. I went prepared with a printout and he was happy to have it. Here is the link Diagnosis and Triggers for Teacher. We also discussed her strengths and methods for success.

He said most of the triggers and allowances are similar to those of his Brother-in-law so it was easy for him. What surprised and delighted me, is that he even knows the intuitive nature of the sensory issues with regard to feeling others emotions.

He also knows how sensitive the girls are at menses and said staying home is not an issue and of he knows when it is, he knows to be more sensitive with the girls.

We are really looking forward to seeing how well she transitions back into school. She has grown so much in the past couple of years, especially with regard to her self-confidence and knowing who she is.

I took this photo this morning of her first ‘school’ day of year 6.


“I am nervcited Mom”

We went in early, and it was nice seeing the teacher and some of her old friends waiting for her when she arrived.

He assigned her a desk next to her BFF when she was there last, so she was even more excited. When I left, another of her old friends was showing her around and she was settling in.

She knows her ‘safe space’ and that she is allowed to go there when she gets overwhelmed. She also knows the school well and the staff and that she can ring me.

I am sure she will have a fabulous day and I am very happy for her. We are confident she will breeze past her 20 day trial and want to continue.

I will write more after school, now I am going to bake a cake for the family as they are all awesome and deserve to be spoiled.




Ear surgery and Anxiety

I know this post is different, but it is something we all deal with as a family; our anxiety.  Sophia and I both have Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

I have had it for years but I can control it most of the time. Many people don’t even know I have an anxiety disorder, unless they are very close friends or have been with me when I have had a panic attack. So yes, I can control mine most of the time, but I hate my anxiety especially when it engulfs me out of nowhere.

Here is the reason that has triggered my anxiety. I am having ear surgery; getting permanent tubes put in in two days and I am terrified, with no logical reason. It is a simple procedure and I have had it before as a child.



When the Dr first told me I needed it four months ago, he said there is so much scar tissue from previous surgeries that they will really have to cut and it may not work (while doing carving motions in the air.) I Started having a panic attack from the way he was describing it and he said he would be sure I was put under.

Of course it did not help that a couple nights before I went in, we were watching an episode of Blindspot and I was triggered. Unexpectedly, one of the characters was tortured by being strapped down and having her eardrum stabbed repeatedly with a syringe. I ran out of the room but it was too late, it had brought back the memory and terror from my childhood of the procedure I had while awake.

They have rung me twice since, regarding dates and both times I started hyperventilating and crying just talking with them about the surgery.

Today we did final arrangements and it hit me again while speaking with them. She was saying my husband couldn’t come in with me and I panicked, as I misunderstood her. He is my rock, he knows me very well and what to do to keep me grounded and calm. I am glad I asked for clarification as I thought I would be sitting in the room waiting for several hours before surgery alone, but she meant only in the operating theatre.

Then it hit, I felt like a terrified little kid and couldn’t speak more than one or two words. I couldn’t stop crying and it felt like I couldn’t breathe and the room started to go dark but I pushed back. I couldn’t pull myself completely back together once the tears started flowing and my husband was not home to take the phone. Thankfully I was able to hold it together long enough to hang up the phone. The poor woman on the other end must have been thinking I was a nutter. He is on his way home now though, so that is good.

You see I had tubes put in a few times as a child and I was left there and did not know or understand what was happening. The last time I was around 8 or 9 years old I think, and I was awake through it and it terrified me and I just froze and internalized it all as I always do.

Back in the 70’s children were not treated the way they are now, especially in the Midwest USA. I was hit by Dentists and Doctors regularly for something as simple as asking what they were doing, or saying it hurt, or crying from pain (…or by my Grandmother for embarrassing her.)

So I am pretty sure that this is subconscious childhood medical trauma rearing it’s head mixed with the recent loss of my mother who was suppose to have a successful surgery. The whole thought of it overwhelms me completely, so I mustn’t think about it.

They are planning on putting me to sleep, and for that I am very grateful, but signing in at 8:30 and potentially not going in to theatre until almost noon leaves me far too much time for my brain to come up with all the reasons I don’t want to do it and possibly plan an elaborate escape. At least I am comfortable with the ENT.

The lady was lovely and said they can give me something for the anxiety. I am so glad my husband will be with me, but I just hope I don’t loose it. I just don’t like not being in control of my emotions and thoughts in times like these. No matter how much I logically understand the reasons for my subconscious reactions, I can’t stop the physical ones.

It is times like these when I wish I had my Asperger’s diagnosis on paper so they might understand a bit more why I have these huge reactions.

This is true when it comes to my kids as well, but not to the extent of physical distress as with myself. With the kids, I worry, but I use that to an advantage by being sure that one of us is always with them when they have any procedures done. I never fear for their safety only that they will be scared, but they never are.

Sophia cracks me up, she is Sheldon Cooper without even knowing it. She walked up and said, “Mom, are you crying?” and I said yeah, just nervous about my surgery is all, I will be fine. She tapped my head twice and said, “There, there.” in her cute little monotone voice and toddled off up the stairs yelling I love you. (One of her tics is she yells “I love you!” each and every time she goes upstairs, it is one tic that I have come to love.)

Anxiety never goes away, it is just something that is lesser or greater depending on the situation and the triggers that come up.

If I got through my MRI when I almost lost the plot, I can do this.*

*After finishing the above, my husband came in with an appointment letter, they have changed ENTs on me so I don’t even know the man who will do my surgery. ugh.

It starts all over again. It may be time to go back on medication as perimenopause is making it very difficult to maintain my equilibrium as of late.

I sure feel blessed that it is school holidays while all of this is going on.

I know that I will be fine, and this too shall pass, it is just a small bump in the road.

This procedure is a very good thing in all actuality. The testing showed I have mild to  moderate loss in my right ear, and moderately severe to severe loss in my left. This should recover my hearing from what they have told me, this is the only reason I am doing it.

hearing test chart

We openly communicate our struggles as well as out triumphs so the kids know that they can too and we will support each other through it, whatever it may be.

Bumpy days; Art, Meltdowns and Earthquakes

We have had a bumpy few days as you do. Sophia was out of sorts and everything was upsetting her. Her senses were heightened and she was quite grumpy, but we made it through. At least she did not feel the earthquakes last night, but she always gets a bit stressed and anxious during heightened seismic activity; we both do.

After breakfast, our morning chat and feeding and chatting with our duck Sugar, we started on work. We got through the book work without too much worry and some great breakthroughs in her grasp of division for Math. She worked on Grammar and Punctuation and we did a science test and she aced it and got 100%! (Just like every test in every subject so far.) 😉

It took a bit of work and some snacks to get her to work through her anxiety and mood, but we persevered until she was able to find the way through. By this I mean that I allowed her to roll around on the couch and attack the pillows, flap and have snacks, we had a few tickle fights, she swore and she clawed me, but, with more patience than I knew I had, we found a way for her to be able to grasp it herself.

She was very proud when she saw the pattern for herself and realised she actually knew how and could do it very easily. We celebrated with a hot chocolate and some cookies.

After her bookwork she did some more art. She has been on an art quest lately, researching and trying new things with her art. Along with this comes anxiety and stress as she is a perfectionist and gets really down on herself when her hands can do what her brain sees in her mind.

We have been working on drawing traditionally, then photographing and uploading the art and digitizing it with Fire Alpaca. She started this drawing yesterday, we finished the adjustments today and she uploaded, then completed the art in digital format.


WP_20170327_001WP_20170327_013WP_20170327_015 (3)Glowhearts AJ Art Trade by Sophia Lawless 27 03 2017

I love this one! This is an OC/original character by another artist that she is trading art with. GlowheartsAJ, the other artist, is drawing one of Sophia’s OC/original characters she created a couple of days ago. They trade their interpretation of each other’s art for practice, it is great to see her working with other artists in this way.

She started another abstract piece after lunch just because it was in her head, and I can’t wait to see what it is when finished. She is dabbling with perspective and shading.

I have spent some time today going over 2016 and organizing our binders. We will most definitely need a larger art binder. I will be printing out all of her digital art again, to place in her portfolio and we will keep this not only for home school records, but for her when she is older. It is also great to allow her to browse the pages and see how far she has come, especially on days when she is feeling not too good about her art.

I will be uploading more of her essays, artwork, projects and some assignments that I found adorable; as time allows.

All in all, she did well today considering how it started. So did I, considering my lack of sleep.




First Day of Year 6

Today we started Year 6 at Lawless Academy. Yay!!


It started out a bit rough, just getting back into routine, but we got through it.

Sophia has a hard time writing with a pencil so she had a bit of a hard time doing her book work, but she did finish it.

WP_020202 (2).jpg

We may need to move her up to the next grade book as she is getting bored with the problems and whizzes through them verbally, but won’t write the answers in them. This is frustrating to us both because she knows the work, but we need written records.

Although, if I do the pages verbally and the tests written, that could be enough to prove she has learned the material. (Hmmm, I may qualify as her Reader-Writer because I am her teacher. I will ask Cynthia about my options.) Alternatively, I can edit the books we have, or create our own based off of them but make them all about Pokemon or her other special interests.

I may give these ideas a go and allow her to move ahead in her work to the grade/age level she is more comfortable with, so that it keeps her attention. I will discuss it with her; I am sure she will love these ideas.

I usually show her all of her workbook work at the beginning of the year and she knows when she finishes it, she is done for the year. She usually does the whole year’s work in the first two terms, due to a combination of wanting to be done with it and her ability to pick things up so quickly that she can figure most of it out on her own without needing instruction or assistance.

I will buy (and edit or use as a template) the next couple of years up in workbooks, and she can just keep going if she wants to see how far she can go, but I will only have them here if she wants to do them, but not make her do them.

She still loves doing digital art and video editing, although that has slowed a bit compared to the past two years. She is moving in different directions with her creativity, she really loves cooking, projects, painting and crafting at the moment so we will be doing more of that this year.

We will also be doing more gardening and science experiments, especially with growing things as she absolutely loves observing the process, and it gets us outdoors more and helps feed the family.

She also received some amazing books from her Aunties in the states, on Big Cats so I imagine she will be doing something with those as she loves writing about Big Cats… well any cats really.

Also she has a new emotes journals for critical thinking and exploring who she is and what she likes. Getting to know herself as her own person is awesome. She wants to start on them, this will be up to her, but it is a great tool for decoding who she really is becoming as a young woman. (Plus it helps her practice her writing. 😉 )

One activity I absolutely love, is that since daddy taught her to ride her bike, she rides everyday and it has a great calming effect when she starts to get stressed.

This is a great tool for calming her body, as she is self inspired to use it and knows she can at any time, and usually she gets straight into her work afterwards. We usually ride our bikes together as I love it too and it is great exercise as well as makes us have fun playing together.

We also will be doing Tae Bo (an exercise programme) this year as she finds kicking and punching the air good to calm, she never aims it anyone, but it had me thinking how much I loved Tae Bo as it helped me regulate my body and my emotions.

  • Total commitment to whatever you do
  • Awareness of yourself and the world
  • Excellence, the truest goal in anything you do
  • (the) Body as a force for total change
  • Obedience to your will and your true desire for change

We have already started learning about puberty and the body and we will continue to do more of this as well. I got some special information about puberty and Asperger’s sent to us from All Together Autism, and it is great material.

Sophia also plays Age of Empires (version three is her favourite) with her brother and dad and absolutely loves it. This is a huge teaching tool for history, and social studies (as well as commerce, building villages, battles, producing food, building armies, hunting, etc.) and it peaks her interests and she asks about historical figures in the game which we then research.

Soph would also like to visit Japan this term with her Passport Studies. She has some ideas of what she wants to learn and write about, and has asked to learn some of their language as well, so we will be getting some supplies from the library (and some friends).

Next term we will be re-visiting France in Passport Studies, as she wants to go more in depth into the language and culture. She has already been teaching herself french words by playing in the French server of Animal Jam. (Clever monkey.)

Mexico was the other place she wants to visit with Passport Studies, so that will be term 3; she also plays in the Spanish servers and loves to learn from Max when he comes home and tells her what he learned in Spanish.

We have not decided the destination for term 4, we will have to see what peaks her interest.

This may seem like  a lot, but for a kid whose mind is always going, anything less and she would get bored and grumpy.

Most of these areas can be tied into the Passport Studies so it is actually a nice smooth rounded way for her to learn. With learning the currency, science, historical figures, language and scriptures, and by doing some art, listening to or playing some music and sampling and cooking the foods, she gets a broader view of each country while lightly touching on all her subjects in a tangible and practical way.

We also can ‘extend our visas’ if she finds she wants to explore a country longer and push the others forward a term, or have short ‘stopovers’ if she wants to visit more. This is what is so awesome about Home educating; we can change our schedule to whatever works for her curiosity and learning.

I am really looking forward to this year and seeing what she can accomplish and how she develops. She has grown so much in so many ways the past couple of years.

She rarely has anxiety anymore and her meltdowns are less violent and pass more quickly as she is able to self regulate more easily now.

Her Tourette’s Syndrome / Tic Disorder has not yet been diagnosed, we wanted to wait to see if the tics stopped and they have not. It has been a few years now that she has had the tics.We may talk to her Autism Pediatrician this year and get the diagnosis if he feels it would help her in the future.

She still has some of the old tics and some new ones, but they are waxing and waning. Some are barely noticeable unless you know her and some are pretty obvious. If is she is tired or stressed they appear to increase or become more obvious. Max also has tics, as do I. This is another reason home educating is good for us as she will not get bullied for her tics like her brother has at school. (As did I.)

Here is a great video I found, on Tics to help get a better understanding of some of they ways that they present. The boy in this video gave a great description, and I feel the same way – it feels like a build up in your muscles and joints, and you have to make the movements or sounds for relief. It overrides and worry of social stigma for the moment.

Thank you for stopping by to read about our home education journey.

Feel free to leave any comments or questions and like our posts.

It will be a good year.


“Meow out Loud”

Today after book work, we went to our local Autism New Zealand / Sommerville library to get some books.

We liked Daddy being on vacation so he could come along. Sophia was having a rough sensory day and was spinning out when we got there. Daddy got bitten and clawed (hence the face in the pic), as she said the pressure on her teeth when she bites helps her feel better. We are working on not biting others (me and Dad) and we really do need to get her a sensory chew.

I quickly calmed her, by handing her, her favourite book ; ‘All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome’ by Kathy Hoopmann.

She will read it again several times over the next few weeks. We should just buy it as she loves it so much we have checked it out many times!

This library is such a great resource and our community is very blessed.

After this, we went to our local library and got more books…. We love books so yes, there are a lot of library posts. 😛

We found a couple drawing books for her and she started reading ‘The Cat Lovers Quotation Book’ while Daddy and I found some for ourselves.

We have such a lovely library, I am glad she feels so comfortable there.

Later after we got home I tried to get a picture, but she was very hoppy and flappy! I did manage to get one after a bit of calming.


Another great day. “Meow out Loud” – she sure does. 😉

A Rough Day

Today was one of the rough ones. We have them occasionally, usually when Sophia and I have somewhere to go, or when she has had a rough sleep, which she has the past two nights.

They also happen with the boys, after they have spent the weekend at their mother’s house, since they get very little sleep and eat things they don’t usually have.

Also we get the ‘Your not my Mum or real sister’ arrogant attitude that accompanies their lack of sleep and nutrition, which last from the minute they walk in the door Sunday evening, until they crash, usually on a Tuesday. They usually sleep for a few hours then they are themselves again.

They come home emotionally confused, sad and physically exhausted, and it affects Sophia and I, especially as we are so empathic. They see her every two weeks, this is her choice, we would be happy to have her see them more, but it is not up to us.

Unfortunately, she has their younger brothers the other two weekends so they were not seeing them until their father transferred them to the same school as Max. Sadly, next year he will rarely see them again, like Devin does now, as he will also be in high school.

The only one living there full time is the youngest, a two year old girl, so the boys also only see their Mum and little sister, four days per month (unless she has ‘other plans’), and a couple more if it is school holidays, but not much.

So, as luck would have it, Max just came home Sunday and then had an event today, an inter-school soccer game so it was a field trip as well.

Both Max and Sophia react similar when they have something different to their regular schedule coming up; they become angry and stubborn. They each show it in their own way, but you can definitely tell. On days like today, they happen to both be out of sorts.

We will start with Max’s morning, as Sophia watched it all and thinks Max is a bit silly, hopefully she still feels this way when she is his age.

Max was suppose to wear his school polo and black or white shorts or pants. I reminded him twice yesterday as did dad, that he should get his uniform ready, to which he replied, “Yep, it is all ready.”

Now this morning he walks out in his polo shirt, but wearing green shorts. I reminded him it was to be white or black as per the notice they sent home.

He began to argue, that is did not say that which it does and that he would be fine in green. I told him to go change into his white shorts, which he had laid out the night before.

“They don’t fit because I got taller!’ He replied in his best snarky teen tone.

“This is why we said to get everything ready last night,  aye” I replied. “Ok, so go find some other black or white shorts or pants then.”

He stomps off for his bedroom and begins opening and slamming his drawers one by one, my patience thinning with each loud whack of the wood.

Ten minutes later, he returns holding a pair of green and yellow shorts. “I found these.” he huffs.

To which I reply, “Max, those are still not black or white. Keep looking or try on these jeans.” (I had set aside a pair of black jeans just in case he had a Max moment, the kind I have come to expect on such occasions.)

“But I want to wear shorts!” he replies, half tearing up with anger and frustration.

“Sorry Max, find some black or white shorts, wear these or don’t go to sport, as the bus will be here soon.”

He snatches the jeans from my hand as I remind myself he is just stressed and not thinking clearly. “Do not put those over the green shorts.” I say, knowing full well he is about to do just that.

He goes in his room and comes out with the jeans on, “Yep, these will work.” he says, as I notice the bunched up material around his thighs.

“Max, do you have the green shorts under there?” I ask, knowing he will lie.

“No.” he says looking down and to the left (his main lie face.)

“Come here Max.” I say smiling as I see his cockiness fall from his face, he knows he is busted. I check the waistband and show him, “Hmmmm… this looks like your green shorts to me Max!” I say getting angry. I really do not like lying, especially from my children.

“Get in there now and take off those shorts.” I say very loudly through a clenched jaw.

He growls and stomps off with his fists clenched.

Five minutes later total silence, “Max, have you taken off the shorts?”

“Yes!” he yells angrily.

“Good, put on a belt please.” I reply.

“Fine!” he yells again.

Silence for five more minutes.

“Max have you put the belt on?” I ask. “YES!”he says.

“Max, have you brushed your teeth?” NO! He says.

After a couple more minutes, “Max go brush your teeth please.”

“FINE!” as he stomps into the washroom, then proceeds to brush his teeth.

Now, I know my son, and he gets this tone in his voice, and this look on his face, when he is about to do something, and he had both, as he walked out and said, “Gotta go, the bus is coming.” and tried to rush out the door.

Now, I had him pull up his shirt, and yep, no shorts peeking out. (his backpack was on the couch, so he couldn’t have stuffed them in it – I thought of that.)

“Great Max, have a great game and enjoy yourself. See you after school.” I say knowing this is not quite over.

“I will, thanks, see you after school.” he says as he heads out the door and goes the wrong direction….

So I get up and open the door, knowing what he is doing. I see him look at me like a deer in headlights as he slowly drops the shorts and tries to kick them in the bushes.

I pretend I don’t see, and say, “Oh Max, I was going to ask you to check the mail when you go out to the bus.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” he says nervously, thinking he may have gotten away with it.

“Oh, and Max, can you hand me those shorts before you go.” I say flatly, as I point to them.

He sighs and bends over to pick them up, hands them to me as I say, “Dad will speak with you tonight about this.” Then he stomps off to the bus, huffing and mumbling.

I call out, “You should know better by now, remember I have six brothers, three sisters and a heap of nieces and nephews, not to mention I was your age once. I have seen pretty much anything you can come up with. Nice try mate.”

I came in  and texted Brent and laughed so much my side hurt. What a character he is, and fully a Gemini.

Afterwards I began to get Sophia started with her countdown to getting ready.

I told her yesterday, that we would be going out to eat for Nana’s Birthday. As expected, she acted out, as she does before doing something different, especially in an unfamiliar place where there will be a lot of people and noise and activity.

I got clawed; numerous times while her jaw was clenching and she was saying mean things as I started un-braiding her hair. (This is when I know she is completely out of touch with her emotions and stressing.)

Getting her into the shower and into clothes are battles all by themselves, so she was not in a very good mood by the time she started her book work. Fortunately, that went really smoothly and she had time to upload a video and do some digital art while I took my shower, so that calmed her quite a bit.

Then she discovered her recorder (flute type thingy) and played some music and calmed even more.

This was good until I said it was time to begin getting ready to leave, then the sassy Sophia came out to play.

Sophia was ravaging through the library box for a book to take along. “I can’t find a fucking book!”she yelled.

“Oy, watch your language, you.” I said.

“What? You swear, Dad swears.” she replies in a sweet, innocent voice, while batting her lashes, as the corner of her mouth goes up, forming her evil sneer she when she is about to challenge me.

“Yes, we do and we try not to. However, I am an adult so I can swear.” I say, feeling a combination of both fear and anticipation, as to what will come out of her mouth next.

“Wow Mum, you are being ageist.” she says, with a look of pride, her eyes glowing with the twinkle of the fires of hell.

“You, my child, are way to clever. I need to discuss this with Dad, but no swearing for either of us, ok?”

“But I like swearing.” she says, being cheeky.

“Fair enough. Well, I guess you better decide if you like your computer or swearing more, because you can have one or the other, make a choice.” I say triumphantly.

“Ugh! Fine!” she grunts as she slithers away to plot another strategy.

This conversation was just before we left to meet everyone for lunch.

We drove to Dad’s work, and rode with him as he is our rock, and makes everything more bearable. Plus we both feel more secure with daddy’s awesome energy around us.

So we went to lunch and finally found something she could eat after a partial meltdown because… “Everything has cheese or Gluten!”

Thankfully Daddy found something she would try and to her delight (and our relief) it was amazing.

We then drove through a local nature reserve, but our walking path was closed, so we came home and played Animal Jam together, we did an adventure, dressed our animals up alike and then watched the fireworks display together.

I have been trying to stay awake as days like this really exhaust me, but I know they also exhaust her and Max. Max ate a snack when he got home and then went to sleep. He has been sleeping for a couple of hours now. Sophia is happily playing in her room now and we are getting ready for tea.



Here are some pictures from our Animal Jam play.

I hope you had a great day.






In rhythm with the bounce

Time for the ball… when she is trying to find her words and they come too quickly, she bounces the ball and speaks in rhythm with the bounce.

It helps her find her words as she is distracted by the ball, the sound, movement, feel etc.

During this time I must sit and listen as she will speak very quickly to get it all out.


Then she will just stop and do something else and be quiet as she has purged all of the thoughts in her head.

Some are very profound and some are things she is curious about or an observation she is trying to comprehend.

She is also learning self-regulation.

I am slowly encouraging her to type up her thoughts to a rhythm, the keys being like the bounce of the ball in a sense.

Warning face

This is the face she makes when she is going to bite or claw.

It happens when she has been overstimulated, is anxious, or if he ate something she is reacting to.

It is usually followed by the eyes and head rolling back and quick hopping in place, while she claws you and growls through her clenched teeth, “Squeeze me, squeeze me, squeeze me.”

If I catch it straight away I can give her squeezes and hold her to help calm her down if not it takes a while to help her feel calm and relaxed.

I have to be very quick usually, I can catch it before the second phase.