Today was one of the rough ones. We have them occasionally, usually when Sophia and I have somewhere to go, or when she has had a rough sleep, which she has the past two nights.
They also happen with the boys, after they have spent the weekend at their mother’s house, since they get very little sleep and eat things they don’t usually have.
Also we get the ‘Your not my Mum or real sister’ arrogant attitude that accompanies their lack of sleep and nutrition, which last from the minute they walk in the door Sunday evening, until they crash, usually on a Tuesday. They usually sleep for a few hours then they are themselves again.
They come home emotionally confused, sad and physically exhausted, and it affects Sophia and I, especially as we are so empathic. They see her every two weeks, this is her choice, we would be happy to have her see them more, but it is not up to us.
Unfortunately, she has their younger brothers the other two weekends so they were not seeing them until their father transferred them to the same school as Max. Sadly, next year he will rarely see them again, like Devin does now, as he will also be in high school.
The only one living there full time is the youngest, a two year old girl, so the boys also only see their Mum and little sister, four days per month (unless she has ‘other plans’), and a couple more if it is school holidays, but not much.
So, as luck would have it, Max just came home Sunday and then had an event today, an inter-school soccer game so it was a field trip as well.
Both Max and Sophia react similar when they have something different to their regular schedule coming up; they become angry and stubborn. They each show it in their own way, but you can definitely tell. On days like today, they happen to both be out of sorts.
We will start with Max’s morning, as Sophia watched it all and thinks Max is a bit silly, hopefully she still feels this way when she is his age.
Max was suppose to wear his school polo and black or white shorts or pants. I reminded him twice yesterday as did dad, that he should get his uniform ready, to which he replied, “Yep, it is all ready.”
Now this morning he walks out in his polo shirt, but wearing green shorts. I reminded him it was to be white or black as per the notice they sent home.
He began to argue, that is did not say that which it does and that he would be fine in green. I told him to go change into his white shorts, which he had laid out the night before.
“They don’t fit because I got taller!’ He replied in his best snarky teen tone.
“This is why we said to get everything ready last night, aye” I replied. “Ok, so go find some other black or white shorts or pants then.”
He stomps off for his bedroom and begins opening and slamming his drawers one by one, my patience thinning with each loud whack of the wood.
Ten minutes later, he returns holding a pair of green and yellow shorts. “I found these.” he huffs.
To which I reply, “Max, those are still not black or white. Keep looking or try on these jeans.” (I had set aside a pair of black jeans just in case he had a Max moment, the kind I have come to expect on such occasions.)
“But I want to wear shorts!” he replies, half tearing up with anger and frustration.
“Sorry Max, find some black or white shorts, wear these or don’t go to sport, as the bus will be here soon.”
He snatches the jeans from my hand as I remind myself he is just stressed and not thinking clearly. “Do not put those over the green shorts.” I say, knowing full well he is about to do just that.
He goes in his room and comes out with the jeans on, “Yep, these will work.” he says, as I notice the bunched up material around his thighs.
“Max, do you have the green shorts under there?” I ask, knowing he will lie.
“No.” he says looking down and to the left (his main lie face.)
“Come here Max.” I say smiling as I see his cockiness fall from his face, he knows he is busted. I check the waistband and show him, “Hmmmm… this looks like your green shorts to me Max!” I say getting angry. I really do not like lying, especially from my children.
“Get in there now and take off those shorts.” I say very loudly through a clenched jaw.
He growls and stomps off with his fists clenched.
Five minutes later total silence, “Max, have you taken off the shorts?”
“Yes!” he yells angrily.
“Good, put on a belt please.” I reply.
“Fine!” he yells again.
Silence for five more minutes.
“Max have you put the belt on?” I ask. “YES!”he says.
“Max, have you brushed your teeth?” NO! He says.
After a couple more minutes, “Max go brush your teeth please.”
“FINE!” as he stomps into the washroom, then proceeds to brush his teeth.
Now, I know my son, and he gets this tone in his voice, and this look on his face, when he is about to do something, and he had both, as he walked out and said, “Gotta go, the bus is coming.” and tried to rush out the door.
Now, I had him pull up his shirt, and yep, no shorts peeking out. (his backpack was on the couch, so he couldn’t have stuffed them in it – I thought of that.)
“Great Max, have a great game and enjoy yourself. See you after school.” I say knowing this is not quite over.
“I will, thanks, see you after school.” he says as he heads out the door and goes the wrong direction….
So I get up and open the door, knowing what he is doing. I see him look at me like a deer in headlights as he slowly drops the shorts and tries to kick them in the bushes.
I pretend I don’t see, and say, “Oh Max, I was going to ask you to check the mail when you go out to the bus.”
“Yeah, I can do that.” he says nervously, thinking he may have gotten away with it.
“Oh, and Max, can you hand me those shorts before you go.” I say flatly, as I point to them.
He sighs and bends over to pick them up, hands them to me as I say, “Dad will speak with you tonight about this.” Then he stomps off to the bus, huffing and mumbling.
I call out, “You should know better by now, remember I have six brothers, three sisters and a heap of nieces and nephews, not to mention I was your age once. I have seen pretty much anything you can come up with. Nice try mate.”
I came in and texted Brent and laughed so much my side hurt. What a character he is, and fully a Gemini.
Afterwards I began to get Sophia started with her countdown to getting ready.
I told her yesterday, that we would be going out to eat for Nana’s Birthday. As expected, she acted out, as she does before doing something different, especially in an unfamiliar place where there will be a lot of people and noise and activity.
I got clawed; numerous times while her jaw was clenching and she was saying mean things as I started un-braiding her hair. (This is when I know she is completely out of touch with her emotions and stressing.)
Getting her into the shower and into clothes are battles all by themselves, so she was not in a very good mood by the time she started her book work. Fortunately, that went really smoothly and she had time to upload a video and do some digital art while I took my shower, so that calmed her quite a bit.
Then she discovered her recorder (flute type thingy) and played some music and calmed even more.
This was good until I said it was time to begin getting ready to leave, then the sassy Sophia came out to play.
Sophia was ravaging through the library box for a book to take along. “I can’t find a fucking book!”she yelled.
“Oy, watch your language, you.” I said.
“What? You swear, Dad swears.” she replies in a sweet, innocent voice, while batting her lashes, as the corner of her mouth goes up, forming her evil sneer she when she is about to challenge me.
“Yes, we do and we try not to. However, I am an adult so I can swear.” I say, feeling a combination of both fear and anticipation, as to what will come out of her mouth next.
“Wow Mum, you are being ageist.” she says, with a look of pride, her eyes glowing with the twinkle of the fires of hell.
“You, my child, are way to clever. I need to discuss this with Dad, but no swearing for either of us, ok?”
“But I like swearing.” she says, being cheeky.
“Fair enough. Well, I guess you better decide if you like your computer or swearing more, because you can have one or the other, make a choice.” I say triumphantly.
“Ugh! Fine!” she grunts as she slithers away to plot another strategy.
This conversation was just before we left to meet everyone for lunch.
We drove to Dad’s work, and rode with him as he is our rock, and makes everything more bearable. Plus we both feel more secure with daddy’s awesome energy around us.
So we went to lunch and finally found something she could eat after a partial meltdown because… “Everything has cheese or Gluten!”
Thankfully Daddy found something she would try and to her delight (and our relief) it was amazing.
We then drove through a local nature reserve, but our walking path was closed, so we came home and played Animal Jam together, we did an adventure, dressed our animals up alike and then watched the fireworks display together.
I have been trying to stay awake as days like this really exhaust me, but I know they also exhaust her and Max. Max ate a snack when he got home and then went to sleep. He has been sleeping for a couple of hours now. Sophia is happily playing in her room now and we are getting ready for tea.
Here are some pictures from our Animal Jam play.
I hope you had a great day.